Seriously...?

Can we invoke a rule in the NBA where sharp objects are NOT allowed? I am convinced Chris "Birdman" Andersen's hair could do some serious damage to someone's arm or eye. He is one scary looking mofo - between the asinine hair and insane amount of hieroglyphics covering his body.

NBA All-Hottie Team 2K10

It's only fair I share the All-Hottie team, too...

Chris Paul, Jason Kidd (I'm biased), Raja Bell, Wally Sczerbiak, and Carmelo Anthony are the starters. The Sixth Man is Chauncey Billups. Coming off the bench are Kyle Korver, Dwight Howard, Rodrigue Beaubois (biased), Tony Parker, Tyson Chandler, and LeBron James.

Head Coach for the Hotties is Pat Riley. His assistants are Rick Fox and Ben Wallace (he's required to wear corn-rows).

NBA All Ugly Team 2K10

Here are my picks for the Ugliest NBA Team:

The Gasol brothers (Marc and Pau), Andrei Kirilenko (AK47), Luis Scola, and Chris Andersen are the starters. The Sixth Man has got to be Delonte West. Coming off the bench are Mike Miller, Robert Swift, Robin Lopez (Sideshow Bob), Chris Kaman, Hedo Turkoglu, Joakim Noah, Manu Ginobili, and Zaza Pachulia.

Head Coach is Sam Cassell. Assistant Coaches are Cadillac Anderson and George Muresan.

Team Captain is Pau Gasol (and yes, Marc is insanely jealous).

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Iverson in a Mavs Jersey?

I love Rolando Blackmon! When asked if Allen Iverson could be making a move to Dallas as a Maverick, Blackmon was quick to reply with "No way!" I hope he's right, because the last thing we need is "The Answer" to the question we haven't even asked. Rolando pointed out Iverson's attitude as a reason many teams back off from acquiring him. Ya think?

The thought of Allen Iverson wearing a Mavs jersey is putting vomit in my mouth.

I Love Garbage!

Really? With the Mavericks thrashing the Pacers in pretty much the same fashion as they pummeled the Rockets on Wednesday, the starters were benched. Some didn't even play in the fourth quarter. That's all fine and dandy with me, but why, oh why, would you refer to the rest of the team as "garbage?" It's a phrase used throughout the NBA - when a team has the game in the bag, they bench their starters and "throw out the garbage."

Here are the Mavericks' "garbage:"
Jason Terry. Tim Thomas. James Singleton. Kris Humphries. Drew Gooden. JJ Barea.

Whoever coined the phrase should check the stats and depth of those guys.

P.S. I have to thank Rick Carlisle for bringing defense to Dallas.

Mavs One-liners

Yeah, so I haven't posted in nearly two years. Wow! Ok, so I'm sitting here watching Dallas @ Indiana...still feeling the adrenaline from the Mavs' insane thumping of the Houston Rockets on Wednesday.

There are so many new members of the Mavericks squad this year. I'm still trying to figure who's who...and still missing a few of the players past (Diop, of course). With that being said, here are a few one-liners about each of the Mavs...

Kris Humphries: Cute with a mean block!
JJ Barea: Did someone say buzzer beater?!
Dirk Nowitzki: Nowitzness never dies.
Tim Thomas: I had surgery in the off-season and look at me go!
Jason Kidd: Not blowing kisses at the basket anymore!
Shawn Marion: Lean, mean, and extreme.
Josh Howard: This flippin' ankle is putting a kink in my playing time...
Erick Dampier: Don't count me out, yet.
Jason Terry: Flying off the bench and down Broadway.
Rodrigo Beaubois: Fancy last name, mad court skills.
Matt Carroll: zzzzzzz (sleeping on the bench)
Drew Gooden: All Gooden things come in big packages?!
Quinton Ross: Dressed in his best on the bench
James Singleton: Crazy court jester.
Shawne Williams: No clue, man.