Seriously...?

Can we invoke a rule in the NBA where sharp objects are NOT allowed? I am convinced Chris "Birdman" Andersen's hair could do some serious damage to someone's arm or eye. He is one scary looking mofo - between the asinine hair and insane amount of hieroglyphics covering his body.

NBA All-Hottie Team 2K10

It's only fair I share the All-Hottie team, too...

Chris Paul, Jason Kidd (I'm biased), Raja Bell, Wally Sczerbiak, and Carmelo Anthony are the starters. The Sixth Man is Chauncey Billups. Coming off the bench are Kyle Korver, Dwight Howard, Rodrigue Beaubois (biased), Tony Parker, Tyson Chandler, and LeBron James.

Head Coach for the Hotties is Pat Riley. His assistants are Rick Fox and Ben Wallace (he's required to wear corn-rows).

NBA All Ugly Team 2K10

Here are my picks for the Ugliest NBA Team:

The Gasol brothers (Marc and Pau), Andrei Kirilenko (AK47), Luis Scola, and Chris Andersen are the starters. The Sixth Man has got to be Delonte West. Coming off the bench are Mike Miller, Robert Swift, Robin Lopez (Sideshow Bob), Chris Kaman, Hedo Turkoglu, Joakim Noah, Manu Ginobili, and Zaza Pachulia.

Head Coach is Sam Cassell. Assistant Coaches are Cadillac Anderson and George Muresan.

Team Captain is Pau Gasol (and yes, Marc is insanely jealous).

I Love Garbage!

Really? With the Mavericks thrashing the Pacers in pretty much the same fashion as they pummeled the Rockets on Wednesday, the starters were benched. Some didn't even play in the fourth quarter. That's all fine and dandy with me, but why, oh why, would you refer to the rest of the team as "garbage?" It's a phrase used throughout the NBA - when a team has the game in the bag, they bench their starters and "throw out the garbage."

Here are the Mavericks' "garbage:"
Jason Terry. Tim Thomas. James Singleton. Kris Humphries. Drew Gooden. JJ Barea.

Whoever coined the phrase should check the stats and depth of those guys.

P.S. I have to thank Rick Carlisle for bringing defense to Dallas.

Dirk Serves as Grand Marshal at Dickies 500

NBA MVP Dirk Nowitzki delivered the command, "Gentleman, Start Your Engines!" to the 43 drivers at the Dickies 500 at Texas Motor Speedway on Sunday afternoon. This was his first Nascar event and first trip to the TMS.

3 Games Deep

The Mavs are home v. the once-threat Kings. With Bibby and Artest injured and suspended, the team has no steam. Josh Howard returned to the lineup after serving a two-game suspension for his run-in with Kings bully Brad Miller during preseason play. JJ Barea is making his presence known. If you don't know him, you know him now! There are new faces on the team this season, with Juwan Howard returning to the squad after several seasons with the Magic and Rockets. Dallas also added Trenton Hassell, Darvin Ham, Brandon Bass, Nick Fazekas, and Eddie Jones to the mix. Gone are Mbenga, Buckner, and Croshere.

Final score: 123-102. Maybe Brad Miller will stick his head in the sand now.

Dirty Spurs Must Go Down!

(Robert Horry after Game 5)

I think I'll side with Phoenix on this one. There is absolutely NO excuse for dirty, thug-like basketball playing. I'm calling out Bruce Bowen and Robert Horry, in particular. The rest of the 'Dirty Spurs' follow - so don't be worried.

There is NO valid excuse for breaking someone's nose, sterilizing that same said person with a knee to the crotch, or catapulting him into the commentator/media area.

Amare and Boris were just trying to protect their man. I know what the rule book says - and agree that they should serve the time. I'm VERY pleased that Robert Horry is serving a suspension. He should also be forced to enroll in anger management, as well as a class to teach him the FUNDAMENTALS of playing basketball. Maybe that class is offering a 2-for-1 special and he can bring his idiot sidekick, Bowen, along.

I also hope that the Suns come out swinging, full-force, in Game 5. I want them to kick some Dirty Spur @$$ and take names. I want Dirty Spur body parts strewn all over the basketball court. Steve Nash should lead the bloodshed. Leave no Dirty Spur survivors.

He is the playoff MVP, as well as the recipient of the Lucky-to-be-Alive award.

Let there be vindication!

You May Now Shut Up, Critics!

Photo courtesy of NBAE/Getty Images

(they're THE best)


Ha ha ha! Sit and spin, all you haters.

Just Plain Dirty

First, he was a dirty King. Now, he's a dirty Spur.

RIP: The nose and crotch once belonging to Steve Nash

Temporary Shift of Focus...

Since the Mavericks' shocking and untimely exit from the NBA playoffs, I have been in mourning. However, I have decided to root for the Detroit Pistons. I can not and will not cheer for the Phoenix Suns, San Antonio Spurs, Utah Jazz, or the 'dirty' Golden State Warriors.

I'm tired of everyone dissing Dirk. So is he.

"That's the kind of person I am. I always take things very, very hard on myself," Dirk said. "I don't need media people to tell me that I did bad. I know I didn't play my best in the playoffs.

And can I hear an "Amen Brother!" for the non-traitor Nelson, Donnie?

"You can't put it on one guy's shoulders," Nelson said. "We won 67 games this year. That's no fluke. We didn't all of a sudden become stupid and poor performers overnight. I think the easy thing to do in this is pile it on Dirk or Avery. But you can't do that. If you actually open up the hood and look into things, you'll see there's a lot more reasons."

Work on that MVP acceptance speech, Dirk! :)

Hail to the Chief!

ESPN and the great Marcel Mutoni are reporting that Dirk Nowitzki will accept the MVP award next week - Tuesday to be exact. The League has delayed the trophy presentation to put some distance between the award and the shocking way in which the Dallas Mavericks exited stage left courtesy of the Golden State Warriors in the first round of the Playoffs.

The MVP-to-be said, "I'm sure 20 years from now or whatever, to see that in the [record] books, it's an amazing achievement. But right now, it's hard. Obviously, you can't feel good about the way our season ended."

"I thought this was such an incredible year. We won 67 games and then to lose in the first round, it just feels so empty right now," he adds.

Dirk will be the first European-born player to win the NBA's Most Valuable Player award.

He averaged 24.6 points, 8.9 rebounds, and shot over 50% from the field during the regular season.

As for the disappearing act in the playoffs, I hope the big German gets the help of a sports psychologist in the off-season.

Congratulations on the award, Dirk. I never stopped believing.

Dirk Earns All-NBA First Team Honors

The NBA has announced that Mavericks forward Dirk Nowitzki was named All-NBA First Team. It is the seventh consecutive season Nowitzki has been named All-NBA and third consecutive year he has garnered First Team honors.

Nowitzki is joined on the First Team by his pal Steve Nash (Phoenix Suns), Kobe Bryant (L.A. Lakers), Tim Duncan (San Antonio Spurs) and Amaré Stoudemire (Phoenix Suns).

He is the only Maverick in franchise history to be named to the All-NBA First Team. Congrats Dirk!

Diop Gets the Option

The Dallas Mavericks have announced that they have exercised the team option on the contract of center DeSagana Diop. The option better be to keep him right where he is - in Dallas as a Maverick.

Enough Already...

Stop with the Dirk bashing!

Yes, he's been off kilter. Yes, he hasn't been his MVP self lately. There are 14 other members of the Dallas Mavericks squad that were signed for reasons other than benchwarming. If Dirk is off, the others should step it up.

But...answer me this....

Name 1 NBA player (past or present) that is 24/7/365 hot and NEVER has a cold spell. One that never misses a shot. One that is never mishandling the ball. One that never makes a mistake.

And one last thing to say: At your job, do you perform 110% 24/7/365 with extreme flawlessness? I think N-O-T. So, get off your @$$ and play NBA bball and see what it's like to get knocked around. Then perhaps you'll stop your whining, b!tching, and complaining about #41.

Rise and Shine Dirk!

Game 4 was a wake-up call for the Dallas Mavericks....win or stay home. They came, they fought, they conquered. In Golden State fashion, it was a fight to the end. Baron Davis fouled out in the last minute. Stephen Jackson got his 5th foul and was happy to clap it out. He was T'ed for the 2nd time in the game - sending him to the shower before the others.

The Mavs were down 112-103. They went on a 15-0 run, including Dirk raining down 2 very important 3-pointers. Devin Harris contributed a 3-pointer and the Warriors helped by fouling. It was Golden State that went scoreless in the last 3:14 of the game. The final score: 118-112.

Perhaps Dirk's self-bashing was all a mind game (ala Nellie-style) to get him into game-mode. It worked.

Rise and Shine Dirk! You played like an MVP.

Deeeeeng!

Are those tears of defeat OR tears of joy for Luol Deng, Mr. Dickwade? Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Get those refs some glasses!

Are the refs in dire need of some coke-bottle glasses? Someone send Baron Davis a razor to eliminate that Abe Lincoln thing he's got kickin'.

Speedy Gonzalez was burning up the hardwood and the Jet was definitely on the runway in last night's 112-99 win over Golden State. The win tied the series 1-1.

The Mavs were a little careless in handling and holding onto the ball. However, their fast pace wore the Warriors down and caused them to make many more mistakes.

Darrell Armstrong (Indiana Pacers, former Mav) was sitting front row at the AAC, cheering on his former team.

Game 3 is Friday @ GS. Stay tuned...

Clip, Clip, Clip

The Mavs did a lot more than just beat the LA Clippers, 96 - 86, at the American Airlines Center last night. The victory ensured Dallas of the Western Conference's best record and of home-court advantage throughout the playoffs.

Let's hug it out guys!

Welcome back J-Ho....and get well FAST Big Bear (E. Dampier)! :)

Redemption

Am I imagining things or are the Mavericks playing a little sloppy/lazy down the stretch? Last night's game v. the Jail Blazers was about redemption - holding on to seal the deal. Mavs won 86 - 74. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall (nevermind, Dirk might squash me) in the locker room after the Denver loss.

The Mavs were without Josh Howard, who suffered a nasty ankle sprain v. Denver the night before. Rest up J-Ho...WE NEED YOU! :)

My Interpretation of the BFFL

It looks like Pixie Nash is throwing Dirk out of his way. Or maybe he's tickling him. Playing leap frog? Peek-a-boo with Amare? Either way, he better look out - or the Jolly Dirk Giant is going to squash him and his little pixie powers. Don't piss off the 7-foot German - he'll snap your fairy orb to pieces.

I'm not sure if I like this or the kissy-face picture (below) better. Hmmm.