Just a Jealous Fat Bastard

Shaq says the recent MVP awards are ‘tainted.’

‘I don't know what y'all vote for,' the Heat center says of the 'last four or five years.' Steve Nash can and does carry his team. Go on a diet, fatty, and perhaps you can, one day, carry your team and earn an MVP.

According to the BMI, you're the most obese player in the NBA. Fish-eyed fool betta recognize!

NBA All-Star Break

And the winners are...

Haier Shooting Stars: Detroit's Chauncey Billups, Swin Cash, and Bill Laimbeer
Skills Challenge: DickWade (again)
Barkley v. Bavetta: Charles "Krispy Kreme" Barkley
3-point Shootout: Jason Kapono (ties the record)
Slam Dunk: Gerald Green

...And yes, Charles and Dick kissed.

J-Ho a Daddy-O!

Congratulations to Josh Howard on becoming a father! His first child, a 6lb. , 19in. boy was born January 31st in New York. Daddy-O said the little tyke shares his father's initials.

Fun Times for Croshere

After Austin Croshere stunned us all with a career-high 34 point performance, Dirk led the team in singing "Happy Birthday" to Austin in the locker room after the game. It wasn't his birthday, Croshere just decided to let us all know that he had it in him. Before it was over and done with, coach Avery Johnson donned a Croshere jersey. Picture the Little General wearing Austin's team jersey, which is made for someone 6'10" tall , on his 5'11" on a good day frame. The Jet "laughed when [he] saw it" and "knew he was up to something back there." That jersey was like a dress on him. Where's the YouTube?

information courtesy of The FanHouse