NBA All-Stars

It's NBA All-Star season....congrats to Dirk! :)

I have to eat my words from several blog posts ago....when I named Delonte West to the NBA All-Ugly Team. I retract that...and would like to replace him with several others: Luis Scola, Marcin Gortat, Chris "Birdman" Anderson, Chris Bosh, Manu Ginobili, and I believe that is all for now. I hope Kevin Garnett is already on that list. If not, he needs to be added to it, along with Gerald Wallace (Scottie Pippen's twin).

I mean...who wants to look at this all.day.long....

A VERY belated Welcome to ...

Delonte, Vince, and Lamar!

NBA CHAMPS 2011

A lot has happened since December 2009. The Year 2010 brought a house fire where I lost pretty much everything. 2011 was my rebuilding year...as well as...

Seriously...?

Can we invoke a rule in the NBA where sharp objects are NOT allowed? I am convinced Chris "Birdman" Andersen's hair could do some serious damage to someone's arm or eye. He is one scary looking mofo - between the asinine hair and insane amount of hieroglyphics covering his body.

NBA All-Hottie Team 2K10

It's only fair I share the All-Hottie team, too...

Chris Paul, Jason Kidd (I'm biased), Raja Bell, Wally Sczerbiak, and Carmelo Anthony are the starters. The Sixth Man is Chauncey Billups. Coming off the bench are Kyle Korver, Dwight Howard, Rodrigue Beaubois (biased), Tony Parker, Tyson Chandler, and LeBron James.

Head Coach for the Hotties is Pat Riley. His assistants are Rick Fox and Ben Wallace (he's required to wear corn-rows).

NBA All Ugly Team 2K10

Here are my picks for the Ugliest NBA Team:

The Gasol brothers (Marc and Pau), Andrei Kirilenko (AK47), Luis Scola, and Chris Andersen are the starters. The Sixth Man has got to be Delonte West. Coming off the bench are Mike Miller, Robert Swift, Robin Lopez (Sideshow Bob), Chris Kaman, Hedo Turkoglu, Joakim Noah, Manu Ginobili, and Zaza Pachulia.

Head Coach is Sam Cassell. Assistant Coaches are Cadillac Anderson and George Muresan.

Team Captain is Pau Gasol (and yes, Marc is insanely jealous).

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Iverson in a Mavs Jersey?

I love Rolando Blackmon! When asked if Allen Iverson could be making a move to Dallas as a Maverick, Blackmon was quick to reply with "No way!" I hope he's right, because the last thing we need is "The Answer" to the question we haven't even asked. Rolando pointed out Iverson's attitude as a reason many teams back off from acquiring him. Ya think?

The thought of Allen Iverson wearing a Mavs jersey is putting vomit in my mouth.

I Love Garbage!

Really? With the Mavericks thrashing the Pacers in pretty much the same fashion as they pummeled the Rockets on Wednesday, the starters were benched. Some didn't even play in the fourth quarter. That's all fine and dandy with me, but why, oh why, would you refer to the rest of the team as "garbage?" It's a phrase used throughout the NBA - when a team has the game in the bag, they bench their starters and "throw out the garbage."

Here are the Mavericks' "garbage:"
Jason Terry. Tim Thomas. James Singleton. Kris Humphries. Drew Gooden. JJ Barea.

Whoever coined the phrase should check the stats and depth of those guys.

P.S. I have to thank Rick Carlisle for bringing defense to Dallas.

Mavs One-liners

Yeah, so I haven't posted in nearly two years. Wow! Ok, so I'm sitting here watching Dallas @ Indiana...still feeling the adrenaline from the Mavs' insane thumping of the Houston Rockets on Wednesday.

There are so many new members of the Mavericks squad this year. I'm still trying to figure who's who...and still missing a few of the players past (Diop, of course). With that being said, here are a few one-liners about each of the Mavs...

Kris Humphries: Cute with a mean block!
JJ Barea: Did someone say buzzer beater?!
Dirk Nowitzki: Nowitzness never dies.
Tim Thomas: I had surgery in the off-season and look at me go!
Jason Kidd: Not blowing kisses at the basket anymore!
Shawn Marion: Lean, mean, and extreme.
Josh Howard: This flippin' ankle is putting a kink in my playing time...
Erick Dampier: Don't count me out, yet.
Jason Terry: Flying off the bench and down Broadway.
Rodrigo Beaubois: Fancy last name, mad court skills.
Matt Carroll: zzzzzzz (sleeping on the bench)
Drew Gooden: All Gooden things come in big packages?!
Quinton Ross: Dressed in his best on the bench
James Singleton: Crazy court jester.
Shawne Williams: No clue, man.

Poor Devin...

Why do I feel bad about this trade? Maybe because poor little Devin has been mending an injury...and winds up getting traded to the shiteous Nets.

Not only is Devin gone, but Diop. The man of many languages will be greatly missed, too. Perhaps Mo Ager will get some playing time with the Nets. I hate to see T-Hass go, but hey - it's part of the game. I'm still laughing that the Nets even wanted Keith Van Horn...he's retired!

I can rest assured my two homeboys - Devean and Stack - are safe, for now. Exercise that no-trade clause and run your mouth all you want boys! I got your backs.

Now I will have to look at Jason Kidd and curse him every time he enters the game as a Dallas Maverick.

Thank you, Devean and Stack!

The eight-player deal, in the making since before the All-Star break, sends Kidd, forward Malik Allen and guard Antoine Wright to Dallas for point guard Devin Harris, center DeSagana Diop and swingman Maurice Ager, plus retired forward Keith Van Horn and Trenton Hassell. New Jersey also gets two first-round draft picks and $3 million.

I am pissed off to lose Devin Harris and DeSagana Diop. What the hell is your problem, Mark Cuban? If this doesn't produce a championship this season, you might as well shoot yourself in the foot.

What the $%#&

So - we're a month into the season. Where the hell are the Mavericks from seasons gone by? The game tonight was PITIFUL! The refs were blind. Dirk was noodle-handed. Devin was a ball hog during the worst possible times. Thank goodness for Jet and Stack. Too bad they couldn't carry it for the Mavs. The Hornets snapped a 21-game skid of losing to the Mavs. I hope Dallas is proud.

It's time for our Mavs to start playing like our Mavs.

Dirk Serves as Grand Marshal at Dickies 500

NBA MVP Dirk Nowitzki delivered the command, "Gentleman, Start Your Engines!" to the 43 drivers at the Dickies 500 at Texas Motor Speedway on Sunday afternoon. This was his first Nascar event and first trip to the TMS.

3 Games Deep

The Mavs are home v. the once-threat Kings. With Bibby and Artest injured and suspended, the team has no steam. Josh Howard returned to the lineup after serving a two-game suspension for his run-in with Kings bully Brad Miller during preseason play. JJ Barea is making his presence known. If you don't know him, you know him now! There are new faces on the team this season, with Juwan Howard returning to the squad after several seasons with the Magic and Rockets. Dallas also added Trenton Hassell, Darvin Ham, Brandon Bass, Nick Fazekas, and Eddie Jones to the mix. Gone are Mbenga, Buckner, and Croshere.

Final score: 123-102. Maybe Brad Miller will stick his head in the sand now.

Dirty Spurs Must Go Down!

(Robert Horry after Game 5)

I think I'll side with Phoenix on this one. There is absolutely NO excuse for dirty, thug-like basketball playing. I'm calling out Bruce Bowen and Robert Horry, in particular. The rest of the 'Dirty Spurs' follow - so don't be worried.

There is NO valid excuse for breaking someone's nose, sterilizing that same said person with a knee to the crotch, or catapulting him into the commentator/media area.

Amare and Boris were just trying to protect their man. I know what the rule book says - and agree that they should serve the time. I'm VERY pleased that Robert Horry is serving a suspension. He should also be forced to enroll in anger management, as well as a class to teach him the FUNDAMENTALS of playing basketball. Maybe that class is offering a 2-for-1 special and he can bring his idiot sidekick, Bowen, along.

I also hope that the Suns come out swinging, full-force, in Game 5. I want them to kick some Dirty Spur @$$ and take names. I want Dirty Spur body parts strewn all over the basketball court. Steve Nash should lead the bloodshed. Leave no Dirty Spur survivors.

He is the playoff MVP, as well as the recipient of the Lucky-to-be-Alive award.

Let there be vindication!

You May Now Shut Up, Critics!

Photo courtesy of NBAE/Getty Images

(they're THE best)


Ha ha ha! Sit and spin, all you haters.

Just Plain Dirty

First, he was a dirty King. Now, he's a dirty Spur.

RIP: The nose and crotch once belonging to Steve Nash

Temporary Shift of Focus...

Since the Mavericks' shocking and untimely exit from the NBA playoffs, I have been in mourning. However, I have decided to root for the Detroit Pistons. I can not and will not cheer for the Phoenix Suns, San Antonio Spurs, Utah Jazz, or the 'dirty' Golden State Warriors.

I'm tired of everyone dissing Dirk. So is he.

"That's the kind of person I am. I always take things very, very hard on myself," Dirk said. "I don't need media people to tell me that I did bad. I know I didn't play my best in the playoffs.

And can I hear an "Amen Brother!" for the non-traitor Nelson, Donnie?

"You can't put it on one guy's shoulders," Nelson said. "We won 67 games this year. That's no fluke. We didn't all of a sudden become stupid and poor performers overnight. I think the easy thing to do in this is pile it on Dirk or Avery. But you can't do that. If you actually open up the hood and look into things, you'll see there's a lot more reasons."

Work on that MVP acceptance speech, Dirk! :)

Hail to the Chief!

ESPN and the great Marcel Mutoni are reporting that Dirk Nowitzki will accept the MVP award next week - Tuesday to be exact. The League has delayed the trophy presentation to put some distance between the award and the shocking way in which the Dallas Mavericks exited stage left courtesy of the Golden State Warriors in the first round of the Playoffs.

The MVP-to-be said, "I'm sure 20 years from now or whatever, to see that in the [record] books, it's an amazing achievement. But right now, it's hard. Obviously, you can't feel good about the way our season ended."

"I thought this was such an incredible year. We won 67 games and then to lose in the first round, it just feels so empty right now," he adds.

Dirk will be the first European-born player to win the NBA's Most Valuable Player award.

He averaged 24.6 points, 8.9 rebounds, and shot over 50% from the field during the regular season.

As for the disappearing act in the playoffs, I hope the big German gets the help of a sports psychologist in the off-season.

Congratulations on the award, Dirk. I never stopped believing.