Just a Jealous Fat Bastard

Shaq says the recent MVP awards are ‘tainted.’

‘I don't know what y'all vote for,' the Heat center says of the 'last four or five years.' Steve Nash can and does carry his team. Go on a diet, fatty, and perhaps you can, one day, carry your team and earn an MVP.

According to the BMI, you're the most obese player in the NBA. Fish-eyed fool betta recognize!

The Britney & Paris of the NBA

The Nugget Buddies

They stand the same...
with body ink, similar corn rows, matching headbands and arm socks.

They squat the same...
with body ink, similar corn rows, arm socks and matching headbands.

They remind us of that other stocking swapping duo.....
the ones with matching stockings, similar hair-dos, walking in-sync, holding hands.



Is this the beginning of a beautiful friendship - or something else?

Pictures supplied by mtoddl - thanks!

Not Possible!

Onion Sports is reporting that Scottie Pippen is ready to reclaim the title of the UGLIEST player in basketball. It's not possible as long as Mike Miller is still active.

My rant on dickwade, the wuss

If Dickwade is the great leader he claims himself to be - then where was his leadership last night when his team bowed to the Mavericks? Granted the poor fella dislocated his shoulder when he wasn't paying attention where he was going on the court, but he could have been there to guide "his" team. He could have hopped on that private jet once again and been there as a cheerleader. Put that frickin' arm in a sling and get your "leader" @$$ out there, dickwade, and show us what you're made of. Wait, you have - it's all about you. To hell with "your" team.

ha ha HA!

Uh oh. Setback #389 for the Miami Heat. Thanks to Shane Battier, the "leader" of the Heat (aka dickwade) went down with a dislocated shoulder. Looks like it's time for Shaq to get out of the "ease back into it" mode. It's time for Shaq to get into the "carry the damn team on his back" mode. I'm curious to see whether or not Shaq still has it.

Miami currently clings to the 8th and final playoff spot in the East, with a two-game edge over New Jersey and a three game edge over the Knicks.

Well DUH, T-Mac!

Props to T-Mac for admitting the obvious...

"Those guys are dirty," he said in Las Vegas. "For real. They are dirty players. They play the game the right way, but they have all the tricks. They get cheap shots in every now and then to just let you know that they're there and they're not going anywhere. And I respect that. That's why they're so good. They find a way."

Now....if I only knew which way he was looking...

Congrats Dirty Okra!

Congrats to Dirty Okra (aka Dirk Nowitzki and Mehmet Okur) for being chosen to attend the NBA Thug-Fest...er, All-Star game. It's nice to see a German and a Turk thrown into the "mix."

Through hell and back (to hell)?

The following is an excerpt from Jason "Big Sexy" Whitlock's blog on AOL re: the All-Star Weekend from hell, I mean Vegas:

Vegas police were simply overwhelmed along The Strip. They were there solely for decoration and to discourage major crimes. Beyond that, they minded their own business.

I was there. Walking The Strip this weekend must be what it feels like to walk the yard at a maximum security prison. You couldn't relax. You avoided eye contact. The heavy police presence only reminded you of the danger.

Without a full-scale military occupation, New Orleans will not survive All-Star Weekend 2008.

David Stern seriously needs to consider moving the event out of the country for the next couple of years in hopes that young, hip-hop hoodlums would find another event to terrorize. Taking the game to Canada won't do it. The game needs to be moved overseas, someplace where the Bloods and Crips and hookers and hoes can't get to it without a passport and plane ticket.

I'm serious. Stern has spent the past three years trying to move his league and players past the thug image Ron Artest's fan brawl stamped on the NBA.

After this weekend, I'm convinced he's losing the battle. All-Star Weekend Vegas screamed that the NBA is aligned too closely with thugs. Stern is going to have to take drastic measures to break that perception/reality. All-Star Weekend can no longer remain the Woodstock for parolees, wannabe rap artists and baby's mamas on tax-refund vacations.

Right on, Jason! New Orleans went through hell and back last year with Hurricane Katrina. I don't think they will make it through what's about to blow through in '08. Oh dear Stern, better think quick. Better think fast. Better think smart.

Where are the Gentleman Athletes???

Jackie Robinson set the bar high.

These days - there aren't many gentleman athletes in the NBA. Can you name any?

It's easier to name those with street cred. Where to start on that list......

Nowitzki marries

Silke Nowitzki, Dirks sister marries long time boyfriend
ART GARCIA
Star-Telegram Staff Writer

LAS VEGAS -- Dirk Nowitzki's favorite memories of this All-Star weekend won't be his first starting gig or his attempt to defend his 3-point title. It also won't be one of those VIP-only parties.

It'll be a wedding. No, not his. In the city that's seen its share of spontaneous unions, Nowitzki's older sister, Silke, married her longtime fiancé Roland Mayer on Friday night.

The couple decided to tie the knot just a couple of weeks ago and figured Las Vegas would be the place to do it. The intimate ceremony took place at one of those classic small chapels with a few friends and family members in attendance, including dad Joerg.

Dirk played the role of best man, wearing a gray suit with a pink shirt and tie.

"I was looking phenomenal," he quipped.

The wedding party received a taste of home with the reception at German restaurant Hofbräuhaus Las Vegas. Though the wedding had all the trappings of Vegas, it wasn't presided over by an Elvis impersonator.

"We did have a real priest," Nowitzki said.

Maverick Moments...

The Little General gathers his troops for a playoff-bound adventure. He encourages his team to Diop and Pops it like it's hot. As the team soars through the league like a Jet, the General reminds them they will not fall off the Dampier this year. They're going all the way. The General pumps the team, but suddenly shouts, "By George, I have a plan. We'll make a Mbenga impact in the finals this year. Each and Avery game we are getting Croshere to the finals!" When they start playing Dirty the crowd roars "Stack[dat]House!" After last year's loss, our boys are Mo Ager than ever. They will win the finals in four, not Devin. They will have a Greg-arious season - Jose, can you see the light at the end of this tunnel boys? Howard they going to achieve this dream? They will grab their Johnsons and play like hell. When that trophy's finally theirs, we will all smoke some Cubans and celebrate. They will Harris each and Avery team all the way to the end. As the boys are pumped and ready for success, a yell from the locker room erupts....Where the hell is "Pops?" Jet replies, "Ain't he the coach of the Clippers now?!"

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NBA All-Star Break

And the winners are...

Haier Shooting Stars: Detroit's Chauncey Billups, Swin Cash, and Bill Laimbeer
Skills Challenge: DickWade (again)
Barkley v. Bavetta: Charles "Krispy Kreme" Barkley
3-point Shootout: Jason Kapono (ties the record)
Slam Dunk: Gerald Green

...And yes, Charles and Dick kissed.

NBA's Batman and Robin

J-Ho a Daddy-O!

Congratulations to Josh Howard on becoming a father! His first child, a 6lb. , 19in. boy was born January 31st in New York. Daddy-O said the little tyke shares his father's initials.

Fun Times for Croshere

After Austin Croshere stunned us all with a career-high 34 point performance, Dirk led the team in singing "Happy Birthday" to Austin in the locker room after the game. It wasn't his birthday, Croshere just decided to let us all know that he had it in him. Before it was over and done with, coach Avery Johnson donned a Croshere jersey. Picture the Little General wearing Austin's team jersey, which is made for someone 6'10" tall , on his 5'11" on a good day frame. The Jet "laughed when [he] saw it" and "knew he was up to something back there." That jersey was like a dress on him. Where's the YouTube?

information courtesy of The FanHouse

DickWade hardly the leader...

Should you open your big fat mouth when your team is hardly the reigning NBA champions they claim to be? Where's the leadership, DWade? You can't take the heat when big daddy (aka Shaq) isn't around to bail you out? Granted the Mavericks went down miserably in the finals - they have come back stronger than ever. Can the same be said for the Heat? DWade criticized Dirk's leadership qualities in the championship. Perhaps he (DW) should focus on his OWN leadership - or lack thereof. Mark Cuban fired back with, "I know Shaq appreciates your leadership as well. He called out your team a few weeks ago saying it was "embarassing'. Great leadership DWade. Your coach sat players for being fat. I guess you couldnt lead them away from the buffet." Kudos! Advice for DWade: Shut up and be a leader to your sub-par team.